Storm

I can barely finish a sentence these days.  Oh thief of motherhood!  When will you return my brain to me?

But, I did manage a short poem this evening.  Not a title though.  (That would just be too much to ask!)

As I parent my littles, I become more aware of myself.  Of the good, the bad and the really bad.  Recently, I’ve become acutely aware of how easily I believe lies and how easily those lies cause me to fear.  Everything.  You name it, I’ve feared it.

Sparrow is just tiptoeing into this realm.  And it breaks my heart. Every night, I pray a prayer of brave fearlessness in Christ’s name over her.   I didn’t have to do this a month ago.

And, one day, I will have to do it for Caleb.

Never did I realize that mothering is a form of battle.  A battle against everything that threatens to steal Truth from those that we desperately love.  Lord, grant me the strength to fight.

Beside a picture window, I nurse my child
while outside, summer’s first storm pummels
tree and grass and all brave wildflowers.
Near, two miles by my rudimentary count,
the storm wields a glinting axe blade
against a wooden sky.  With each reckless
swing, I startle, expecting
this frail human at my breast
to do the same.  But he’s asleep,
his small flinches from dream
not fear.  Like Jesus
on the sea-tossed ship.  How long
does it take the mind to deceive
the heart? How long until Hell
has chased Heaven from his memory
and he wakes, crying out?

 

 

About Amy Woschek Schmidt

little moon hoping to reflect the Light. writer of stories. mama to sparrow. wife to schmidty. wholy redeemed by the Holy One, Jesus Christ.
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4 Responses to Storm

  1. Bean says:

    I never knew before all the fears I do today with babies by my side. It is definitely a hard battle to fight! To fight against the fear and let truth and trust win is SO hard!
    Amen to all you said. I want to show my babies what it is to be fearless. Not stupid, but fearless 🙂

  2. Marguerite says:

    I do enjoy your poetry it is beautiful. Fear is a strange thing and it can really tug and even over-consume a person. I realized after my oldest got a serious and lifelong disease, that I had no control over what lied ahead, but I could control how I and she approached life. She is 20 now, and was 10 then. She thanks me for giving her the gift to embrace life and let God be in charge of the rest.
    It was one of the most freeing things I ever done, to believe and let God me in charge. So much has happened in those 10 years. more children came to bless this house, and tragedy of loved ones loss. Also I too became seriously ill and have had to learn to navigate my days, to get the most of them. I have faced my own death, and so I know how precious time truly is. I try to never fall in the trap of fear again, but to rejoice in the living, and know that I am in not in charge.
    When storms hit here, I marvel at the awesomeness and power of something so much greater than humans. As our world seems to go topsy turvey, and hate so much more prevelant, I move myself to love more, share more, and embrace those who feel left out. From your writings, which I first read in a magazine, I think you have that same spirit. Embrace that!
    I hope many blessings come your way, and know that you are giving your daughter the tools, she will know and find the truth. Fear Not.
    Marguerite

    • Amy Woschek Schmidt says:

      Oh Marguerite! Thank you for your words. You are a very courageous woman and I have learned something from you, even just in this small paragraph. Thank you and may you and I learn, even more, what it means to not fear the storm. Love to you.

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